Introduction of the iPad!

I was a very lucky lady this Christmas and received an iPad from my husband. I am totally thrilled with my new technology. However, I think the introduction of my new found friend is already costing me in the relationship stakes! Just days after receiving it I was accused of becoming very anti-social in the evenings as I would sit and surf, shop, play or social network rather than talk to anyone in the same room as me!

Today it has progressed and where as it used to be my iPhone that was my daily companion and only a reach away wherever I was in the house, today it was my iPad. My trusty phone was forgotten and left charging all day on my bedside table on silent. The downside to this (or plus depending on how you look at it) was that I became uncontactable! Well not literally as the old school landline still worked, I had my laptop with email open all day, and I only left the house to do my mum taxi job, but to my surprise I had missed calls, answer phone messages and texts from all the important people in my life (Hubby, Best Friend & Bank Manager) Mum had called me on the landline. That little white phone had become my life line, it would seem, and by being seduced by its big brother I have upset my nearest and dearest!

Apologies go out to those who have felt ignored today. Lesson learned and I will be stepping away from the iPad tomorrow and going back to my roots. Or maybe I will just surf the net for a bigger bag and carry everything around with me!!!

My Nan

Today I visited my dear Nan! Sadly she wasn’t there but for the first time in years I saw a glimmer of recognition in her bright eyes. My Nan is one of the many who has been invaded by the cruel illness Alzheimer’s. She sits in her chair visibly wasting away. Sometimes we visit and she is cross and shouts random words, mostly her own name and the word ‘No’, sometimes we visit and we can’t get her to open her eye. Sometimes she looks pale and ill and other days she looks brighter and smiley.

Today was a bright and smiley day. The carer said that it was a good day for her which meant that she would eat when they came to feed her. She is totally helpless, not able to do anything for herself, it is no life for a once head strong loving woman! I always come away feeling sad and frustrated, never a visit without shedding a tear. But today I have a new feeling! Today I fear that, just maybe, she can hear us and does, some where, deep inside her mind recognise us, but she just doesn’t have the ability to let us know. I sat and rubbed cream into her hands and she squeezed me in a way she never has before and just sat and held my hand for a while. It was so lovely, so peaceful, yet so unexpected as she doesn’t normally react in any way except anger when I have done this in the past. Today it was as if she was looking at us and taking us all in. She smiled at each of us and stayed awake for our whole visit. There was something different about her, I felt some kind of tiny connection. I always thought it would be a nice feeling to know she knew we were there, but as we travelled home I felt fear for her, as if she does know then how horrific must it be to be trapped inside your own mind not able to talk to the people you love? Like I said Alzheimer’s is a cruel disease and one we may never fully understand the extent of.

I miss my Nan everyday. I hate the fact that she is here but is not, but most of all I love that special lady, MY NAN, with all my heart.